I just read this wonderful story at Herpes and Cold Sores Support Forum and want to share it with you all:
Dating with herpes isn't easy, despite the huge number of folks living with it. And while many people experience good feedback after telling a partner about their HSV status, it's still pretty nerve wracking to think about the day you'll have to tell someone.I started dating again recently via a popular online dating service- one I've used in the past with pretty good success. So I was quite happy when, just a couple weeks into my membership, I met someone who I was really attracted to. Wow. Smart, hilarious, cute, great head on his shoulders. But dang, there's still the whole herpes thing to deal with. Crap.I found myself mulling things over the last few days. How would I tell him? Would he freak out? Would he be upset he wasted his time on me? Would he be one of those folks who insists you "date your own kind..they have websites for THAT, you know". It wasn't easy. So anyway, this weekend he came over to my place to hang out. When the movie we were watching finished, we glanced at each other and things got a little quiet. He smiled at me while holding my hand and said "There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about". "I dunno, guess you could see it as a 'get out of jail free card' of sorts"Honestly, I had no idea where he was going. Then he blurted: "I have herpes" before rolling his eyes and looking away. I could see he was embarrassed. Worried.And as I sat there in shock, not quite believing my ears and sudden good fortune, never before had the word "herpes" ever sounded so good. But I was also real happy because I realized at that very moment I'd found a guy with integrity. It's pretty easy to get away with not telling a partner about HSV, after all.So as he sat there looking flustered, a huge stupid grin spread across my face. I must've looked like an idiot. He looked at me puzzled before I finally let him off the hook "Hmmmm, that's actually not a bad thing because I have it too". The next few minutes are a little hazy in my mind, but I remember him letting out a deep sigh of relief and giving me a big hug while saying "Oh man, that's so awesome! You're so awesome!" And by the way, nothing happened that night.Anyway, I think the message here is that the unexpected can happen. Incidentally, I've had the "talk" go well with non HSV partners as well, so don't despair the day you have to tell someone about your status. And never believe that HSV makes you any less deserving of a loving, healthy relationship.
Living with STD, but not alone!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
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2 comments:
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